The following are tales of the trials, tribulations and humiliations that fashion week attendees must endure for the sake of getting a coveted gift bag, or in the case of some, just getting to the open bar.
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Thud:
After a long day of attending shows, it is understandable that one is tired and perhaps less coordinated than usual. I’m sure this particular attendee of the Akiko Ogawa show can attest to that. The incident took place during the post-show scramble to gather the gift bags some attendees chose to leave behind. In her rush to collect a bag dropped in the middle of the runway, a woman tripped over said runway, crashed into several people and fell with a resounding thud face down on the ground. I turn around and there she is, just lying at my feet. Okay, I admit it; I shamelessly stared for a few seconds while holding back choked laughter. The spectators behind her were no better because many of them just stepped around her, as if she were a decorative element of the runway. One or two of them actually stepped over her. The woman showed the resilience of a fashion week regular by jumping back onto her feet and, you guessed correctly, making a beeline for the gift bag. She was really lucky because everyone was too busy watching her become more intimately acquainted with the ground to even think about taking the gift bag. Perhaps this was all a part of her diabolical scheme to begin with, create a diversion then grab the bags. Hmm, I’m going to have to remember that one for next season.——Caren K.
Woosh!
Picture this: The Lacoste show just ended, the lights flash on, perhaps within 3 seconds. And then……….
Whoosh!!!
A huge breeze blows in my face. My long hair blows back to the second row into someone face. Blinding them for a few seconds.
Where did that wind come from in a closed tent?
An innocent man in the front row started to rise out of his seat. His rear end made about, oh let say… 5 inches off his chair. When the woman next to me took his Lacoste bag off his seat so fast, a breeze is kicked up! She then proceeded to leave faster than she came. Which almost made a hurricane.
The poor man didn’t know what hit him. In fact, it took him a minute or two to realize he had just been “jacked”. He looked dazed and confused, scratching his head knowing for a fact, he was sitting on his Lacoste bag! How could he explain the loss of his bag to his wife?
I left quickly afterwards. Just in case the “jacking gift bag woman” might be waiting in the wings….
–Pearl
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Oomph:
Imperia Vodka commandeered the most coveted of all sponsorship booths in the tent, right in the middle between the entrances/exits of the runway shows. This ensured all those in attendance would have a chance to ogle the bar where Imperia was giving away free vodka by the gallons. The lines that formed to get to the bar were as impressive as those of the ones trying to get into the shows. I told anyone who would listen that, with two open bars giving away copious amounts of liquor, accidents were bound to happen. On the night of the Rock and Republic show, my words came true. The show organizers had a HUGE group of standing guests (myself included) corralled in a small space very close to the Imperia booth. After a 45 minute wait and many trips to quench our thirst at the bar, we were all still waiting for the guards to lift the rope and start a stampede of epic proportions. Sadly that event never took place because the standing area inside the show tent had mysteriously been filled, at least that was the excuse the pr people shouted down to us as they were running for their lives. Despite not being able to see the show, I still consider that night as ending on a good note because of what I witnessed in front of the bar.
The bar was so busy that night that the Imperia patrons blended with the standing crowd, and you could see many of the standing people ducking under the ropes to obtain themselves a beverage or two. The bartenders were not skimping on the vodka despite the drinks being free(bless them); it was just a matter of time before some inebriated fashionista would make a fool of herself. Having resigned myself to a long wait, I was indulging in one of my favorite hobbies – people watching. I soon noticed a LTCU (loud talking cell-user) on the steps leading up to the bar. She was coming down them not paying any attention what so ever to where she was walking, so of course she missed a step and went tumbling down the remaining ones. For that one perfect moment, she, her bag and her cell phone were airborne. The thump, thump, thump of her hitting the stairs on the way down pierced through the noisy room like an arrow. As a collective the crowd swiveled to see what happened, while she picked herself up off the ground and nonchalantly snagged her purse with one hand and the phone with the other. By the time anyone recovered enough to inquire about her health, she was already strolling back up to the bar like nothing happened. For someone to take a tumble like that and emerge unscathed is a testament to how high her blood alcohol level was. Vodka is such a useful beverage. It can enhance your mood, substitute for anti-bacterial cream, and now we’ve discovered that it can also prevent catastrophic injury.
—- Caren K.
